Tattooed Mistakes: Far From Over
by CallMeLy
Summary: [Dark AU of the ZOMBIES fic series/TM sequel] He'd killed someone. He'd spent a year in zombie containment. He'd accepted the consequences. He'd fixed his broken relationship with his boyfriend. It should be over now, but Alonzo's actions are finally taking a toll on his mental health. [[TW: emetophobia warning for first chapter, suicide ideation in later chapter]]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer **\- I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't.

A new Zephzo-ccentric fic is here! The sequel to Tattooed Mistakes, just in time for Halloween month! This fic was supposed to just be a bonus chapter but it just kept getting longer and longer so I split it up into five chapters instead

If you haven't already, make sure you read the original TM first and if you're completely new to the BG (background) zombies, start with the Limelight one-shot collection! (you only need to read up to chapter 31-ish of that to understand TM)

**Chapter 1 theme songs:** Freeze Your Brain from Heathers the Musical and Sominex/Suppertime from Little Shop Of Horrors

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Chapter 1

~ _Forget who you are, unburden your load_ ~

Alonzo had never particularly liked brain-flavoured food. People, mostly Zane, always seemed to have an opinion on the fact he was a zombie who didn't like brains. But ever since the incident, no-one said anything. No-one questioned it. Not even the ones who had turned against him. They had all heard how sick he had been while in containment, and they all knew he wasn't quite back to full health again just yet – physically or mentally.

There was a lot of progress still to be made, in fact. His relationship with Zephyr was much better, true, but there were occasional moments of tension and fear between them. The integration had been almost completely reversed and things weren't any better now than they had been when Alonzo and Zephyr first started dating. Their curfew was back to its original time. Keira was still avoiding not only Roz and Alonzo himself, but all of the zombies, as were most of the humans. The one good thing was that Zephyr had gone back to counselling and was actually working through his trauma.

Alonzo, however, continued to face his trauma day after day, in ever more distressing and frightening ways, until the day he couldn't hide it anymore.

– FAR FROM OVER –

The night it happened, Alonzo was over at Zach's house. He hadn't intended on staying over but they had lost track of time and it was too late. With curfew only a couple of minutes away, he texted his mom to let her know he wouldn't be home till the morning.

It wasn't often that Al felt so at ease these days; he was always just a little on edge, always felt like he needed to hide or apologise or something. He was gradually getting better but tonight, he let his guard down. He was having an impromptu sleepover with his best friend, no-one else was around and he told himself that maybe, just maybe, he could relax. Zach's parents were asleep down the hall so as long as the boys didn't disturb them, they were free to do what they wanted. They shared a pair of headphones and put on Bowling For Soup and spent a few hours just doing whatever until twelve o'clock had come and gone.

"... Midnight snack?" Al suggested, raising an eyebrow, and Zach grinned.

"Midnight _feast_!" he shot back and stood up, "Let's go!"

As quietly as possible, the two of them crept downstairs to raid the kitchen. Zach was careful to leave anything brain-flavoured where it was at first but Al nudged his shoulder when he noticed.

"You can eat it if you want, Zach," he shrugged, "Just... don't let it get too close to me or anything, I can't stand the smell of it."

Zach hesitated but looked back at the bag of marshmallow brains in the corner of the cupboard, "You sure?"

"Yeah. It's been forever, I'll be fine." He casually waved a hand and Zach added the candy to their growing stash of junk food, but the anxious breath Al let out didn't go unnoticed.

Once they felt like they had enough, they scooped everything up and headed back to Zach's bedroom. For a little while, they were just eating and talking and watching videos. Zach had avoided the marshmallow brains for some time but honestly, he couldn't resist them. Al said he'd be fine, he just had to make sure he wasn't close enough to smell them.

It's no surprise he failed, but the outcome was entirely unexpected.

Al accidently caught a whiff of the marshmallows. The smell of artificial brain flavouring, while not exactly like the real thing, almost overwhelmed him. That was a shock in and of itself; zombies' senses were relatively dull, after all. But he could smell it, stronger than it should be. The first time, Al choked and gagged, but that was it. He was about to shuffle away a little to escape it but then he stopped. He felt strangely compelled to sniff again, and instead edged closer to Zach, his eyes on the bag of marshmallow brains. Zach held a few in one hand, completely unaware that anything unusual was happening, and Al sat just looking at them.

If Zach had only looked up in that moment, he would have seen the redness around Alonzo's eyes turning black as he stared hungrily at the candy. His Z-band beeped once, unnoticed by both of them.

Without warning, Alonzo snatched the whole handful and stuffed them into his mouth. Zach was about to protest but the second he saw the state his friend was in, he froze in horror, dropping the bag. Black veins were spreading across his skin, his eyes darkening and seeming to sink deeper into his skull and a snarling sound was just barely being muffled by the pink marshmallows. His Z-band's beeping was growing increasingly frantic. Once he could process what was going on, Zach backed away.

"Al?" he tried, his voice shaking, but Al just reached for the bag to devour the rest of its contents.

"_Alonzo!_"

Nothing. No response. He kept eating and Zach didn't dare interrupt.

Alonzo swallowed, panting and even drooling. He snapped out of it almost instantly as he began to wretch. His eyes came back into focus, the darkness of his veins faded and he steadied himself with a hand on the floor, only for his whole body to convulse. Zach pulled the trash can from the corner of his room closer just in time for Al to throw up into it. He eventually sat up, wiping the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.

They both stared at each other in shocked silence. Zach gulped, "... Al...?"

Al barely heard him. His vision seemed to blur, drifting in and out of focus and he felt himself begin to panic, "I... I-I don't know why I just did that..."

Zach slowly crouched down in front of him, "Al, it's OK," he tried to sound calm, "It was one little slip-"

"_Why did I do that?_"

"_Alonzo_-"

Nothing Zach said was coming through. It was all just white noise, "Oh, Z, no..." Al's hands raked through his hair as he drew his knees to his chest, "No, no, don't do this to me, don't, don't, don't..." he covered his face, muffling his words, and shook his head, "Z, please, don't...!"

Zach edged a little closer and gently pulled Al's hands away to reveal his wide and fear-stricken eyes, staring blankly ahead, "Don't _what_?"

"I was..." he lifted his head until their eyes met, "I was a _zombie_...! Oh, my Z, I'm a _zombie_!"

"Al, of course you're a zombie!"

He suddenly grabbed Zach's arms. His parents were asleep just down the hall and Al couldn't let them hear him, so he leaned forward and hissed in a frantic whisper. "_Full_ zombie, Zach! I wasn't thinking, I-I smelled them and it was like I just blacked out for a second then I tasted brains and I-I..."

He trailed off and his grip loosened. His gaze fell to the floor.

"... _Please_ don't hurl again..."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Alonzo tried to compose himself, "No, I-I'm good... I'm good..." but he was already hyperventilating when he opened his eyes, "I'm not good, I'm _so_ not good, zragh vak, what just happened?!"

"Al," Zach got hold of him again, forcing him to look at him, "Al, calm down, calm down, breathe..."

"I can't breathe..."

He didn't know what to do. His best friend was obviously having a panic attack and it looked like he was headed into a downward spiral right back to the sickness and self-loathing that being in zombie containment had brought on. Zach wasn't going to be able to handle this by himself. He went to stand up.

"Maybe I should go wake-"

"No...!" Al pulled him back, "Don't tell them..."

"But-"

"_Please...!_"

Tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

"OK... OK, I won't..." Zach promised, "... Don't you think we should call your mom, at least, though...?"

"That's even _worse_!"

"Then what do you want me to do?" he asked and Al looked down, unsure. When he still didn't answer, Zach raised his arm, ready to tap his Z-band's screen, "You need Zephyr."

"No!"

He'd already hit 'call'. Alonzo reached for the band to cancel it before Zephyr picked up but he wasn't fast enough.

"You know what time it is right now, Zach?" the grogginess of his voice made Al feel even worse for waking him.

"This is important," Zach started, "Al's here."

Zephyr suddenly sounded more alert, "At your place? Why?"

"We just missed curfew, it doesn't matter. But he's not doing so good."

"_What?_ What exactly do you mean by 'he's not doing so good'?"

Al leaned over Zach's shoulder, "It's alright, garzi'ka, just the usual stuff. Ignore him, OK? Go back to sleep."

Al often had bouts of anxiety or guilt or irritation, the occasional nightmare, flashbacks, but he learned to deal with them for the most part, and Zach knew what to do when he was needed in those situations. Which was why Zephyr wasn't convinced; Zach was calling him for help.

"Something's obviously wrong and you think I'm gonna go back to sleep?" he didn't wait for an answer, "Zach, what happened?"

"He a-"

"Zeph, I _swear_," Al insisted, struggling not to sound choked up, "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"You are not fine, Al!" Zach hissed, "You ate-"

"Just shut up...!" a sob escaped his throat and he bit his lip. After a few seconds, he spoke again, unable to keep his voice from shaking, "It's nothing. There's nothing wrong, Zephyr, don't worry about it."

"You're crying."

"I'm not."

"He is."

"I'm _not_!" Al glared at Zach.

"Like hell you're not," Zephyr sounded both angry and concerned, only giving Al two more reasons to feel terrible, "I'm coming over there and you are not stopping me."

"Zeph, don't, you don't have t-" but he had already hung up. Alonzo went silent. For a brief moment, he didn't show a single bit of emotion. His tears were drying on his cheeks, his eyes were unfocused and his lips were pressed into a thin line. His breathing was slow and deliberate. Slowly, his brow creased.

"... Al," Zach started, holding out a hand in comfort, "You need him. I can't help you with this on my own, I don't know what you're going through, I wasn't th-"

He was caught completely off guard when Al aggressively shoved him away and stood up. He strode over to the corner only to drop to the floor again, pressing his back against the wall and curling up into a ball with his face buried in his folded arms. When Zach regained his balance he just stood looking at him.

He opened his mouth but he had barely even made a sound before Alonzo lifted his head enough to be heard.

"Just leave me alone..."

But if Zach knew Al, he knew 'leave me alone' really meant 'please hold me'. Al hated being alone. He walked over and sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. As expected, Al tipped his head into the crook of Zach's neck.

"... Why'd you have to tell him?"

"Because I can't help you by myself."

Al didn't argue anymore.

– FAR FROM OVER –

"Riz...?" Zephyr's hushed voice broke the silence in Rizzo's bedroom and she stirred but didn't wake up. He rolled his eyes and tried again, "Rizzo...!"

This time, she let out a small groan.

"S'too early..." still not fully awake, Rizzo reached out blindly and tried to push him away as she rolled over.

He took hold of her wrist, staring down at her with a cold, uncaring expression, "If you don't wake up right now, Riz, you lose this whole arm. For good."

She suddenly sat bolt upright, snatched her arm away from him and glared, rubbing her eye, "What do you _want_? What time is it?"

"Almost two o'clock."

Rizzo's eyes went wide, "In the _morning_?! Boy, you better have a good explanation for this or I'mma-"

"It's Al."

She stopped immediately and started to get up, "What about Al?"

"You don't need to get up," he told her, herding her back, though she resisted, "Zach called. Al's staying over at his place and something happened, I dunno what, but Al's crying. And denying it. Whatever it is, it seriously freaked him out. I gotta go see him so I need you to cover for me if Mom or Dad wake up."

"So I'm just on guard duty, huh?"

She was only trying to lighten the mood but as she stood up she got a good look at Zephyr's face and realised just how worried her little brother was.

"He acted like he was getting better, I didn't even think about him relapsing. He sounded scared..."

Rizzo grabbed his wrist, "Come on," she pulled him out of her room, quickly glancing towards their parents' room to make sure they hadn't heard them, then led him down the stairs.

"I told you I didn't need you to come...!"

"If Mom and Dad hear you opening the door, they'll check both our rooms and notice you're the only one gone. If they hear someone in the kitchen and neither of us are in our rooms, they won't think anything of it. They're always wanting us to bond or whatever. I'll make a little noise, you sneak out."

With a grateful smile, Zephyr gave her a one-armed hug, "Thanks, Riz. You're a lifesaver."

"I know," she said then pushed him towards the front door, "Text me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer **\- I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't.

More angst. That's it.

**Chapter 2 theme song:** Will You Stay? from LIZZIE the Musical

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Chapter 2

~ _Let me bring back your smile_ ~

Zach was still sitting beside Al, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he cried. By now, it was silent, just a steady stream of tears running down his face. He only let go when his Z-band beeped with a message, and Al's head jerked up to see what made him stop. Zach glanced at him and twisted his arm slightly so he could see the screen.

"It's Zephyr. He's outside, I'm gonna go let him in," he said and Al closed his eyes for a moment, "You OK waiting here?"

Al nodded slowly and opened his eyes again, taking a calming breath. Zach patted his shoulder once more then stood up and left the room. He opened the front door to Zephyr anxiously rocking back and forth on his heels, looking up and down the street for any signs of the zombie patrol, and quickly ushered him inside.

"What's going on?"

"Ssh," Zach raised a finger to his lips, "He doesn't want my parents finding out... Come on."

Zephyr followed him upstairs and found Alonzo sitting in the corner of Zach's room, his chin resting on top of his knees with his arms wrapped around them as he stared into space.

"Al, baby?" Zeph almost whispered and at that one word, Al looked up at him in recognition, then relief. He had been worried about Zephyr being there but actually seeing him reminded him of every conversation they'd had about this. Zephyr loved him, and he cared about him. He wasn't scared of him. He wouldn't judge him. He was here because he loved him.

Alonzo took a shaky breath, then opened his arms and Zephyr ran straight to him, kneeling on the floor to pull him into a hug. Al immediately nestled into his neck and cried as Zephyr stroked his hair, rocking him back and forth.

"Zzh, droz grodge grog, zreeka. Ag zu ru," _Ssh, it's all OK now, sweetheart. I'm here,_ he murmured into his ear. Zach had come to join them, crouching beside Al with a hand on his shoulder. Zephyr was about to ask what happened when he saw the torn-open plastic bag on the floor and frowned, "What's that?"

"That," Zach pointed at it as Zephyr picked it up, "Is your culprit. Guess who ate almost the entire bag?"

The second Zephyr's hand left him, Al clung to him even tighter and he moved his other hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Marshmallow brains? Why were you even eating brain f-"

"I went feral..." Al admitted, ducking his head. He reminded himself one more time that Zephyr loved him, no matter what.

"_What?_" Zephyr's brow creased in concern, placing a hand on Al's face and turning him to look him in the eyes, "Feral? Like real, honest-to-Z _zombie_ feral?"

Al shrugged lamely, "As close as I'm gonna get..."

"I don't- Wh-" Zeph stammered, shaking his head, then turned to Zach, holding up the bag towards him, "Why did you even have these anywhere near him?" he practically growled, "You know he can't-"

He cut himself off when he felt Al grip his shoulders, getting his attention, and turned back to look at him.

"Zeph, don't blame him. I told him he could," Al said tiredly.

Zephyr huffed and crumpled up the bag before tossing it onto the floor again, "You didn't have to _listen_!" he shot Zach a half-annoyed, half-disappointed look, making him flinch.

"Garzi'ka..." Al almost pleaded and he softened, "I thought I'd be fine with it. Like, the smell of brains makes me sick, big deal. I didn't think I'd..." he squinted, "I don't even know what happened..."

"You actually got _closer_ when I was eating them," Zach interjected, "Then you just grabbed them right out of my hand. I dropped the bag and you took the rest of 'em, then you came out of it when you threw up."

Al just shook his head, "I don't remember any of it. Just smelling them and feeling like I _needed_ them, then they were in my mouth..."

"You got a warning from your Z-band, but that's about it."

"My _Z-band_..." Al slowly sat up, away from Zephyr, who was watching him with caution, "My _zraghan_ Z-band can't even _do its job_...!" he spat, gritting his teeth.

For a moment, he sat staring down at the band on his wrist, Zephyr and Zach nervously wondering what he was thinking. Then he grabbed it and-

"_Whoa!_"

Before he could actually get his fingers under it, Zephyr had taken hold of his left arm, just below the Z-band, while Zach yanked his right arm back. They exchanged a look of fear and confusion. In between them, Alonzo's eyes were fixed on the floor. His breathing was slow and heavy, and he was obviously angry, but he didn't resist. They weren't the reason he was angry. Zephyr moved his hand past Al's Z-band and laced their fingers together, bringing his other hand to tilt his chin up so their eyes met. Zach gently held his right hand.

"What is that going to achieve? Huh?" Zephyr's words seemed harsh but his tone was so soft and gentle, "Taking off your Z-band again?"

"I-It's not working..." Al muttered, "It should've stopped me but it didn't..." he lifted his head and they both saw fresh tears in his eyes, "What's the point of wearing it at all? I'm a monster either way."

Zephyr sucked in a breath and tugged on Alonzo's hand, "You are _not_. Don't you ever talk about yourself like that, you are not your mistakes, Al," the only response he got was Al screwing his eyes shut and snatching his hands away from both of them as he shook his head. With a sigh, Zephyr reached out again and leaned closer, "You're not a monster," he whispered, letting Al pull away this time, "You're my boyfriend. And Zach's best friend. And your mom's son, and Lindzey's brother... You're a _person_."

Zach nodded emphatically beside him, placing a hand on his arm, which he instantly shook off, "We know you better than anybody else. You're one of the kindest people I know," he assured him, then hesitated, "... But you need to be careful. That's a new Z-band, remember. It's locked, but who knows what else the patrol did to that thing? If you actually tried to pull it off, it could've shocked you. Or worse..."

Alonzo gulped at the thought and Zephyr pulled him to his chest, resting his chin on top of his head, and shot Zach a glare for scaring him.

"It's alright, garzi'ka..." he murmured, stroking Al's hair, "Just... don't touch your band, OK?"

"... OK..."

They fell into silence for a brief moment until the bedroom door creaked open and they all jumped. Zach's mom, Zylvia, peaked inside.

"Zach, are you two st-" she cut herself off immediately, "Zephyr? What in Z's name are you doing here?" She kept her voice low as she entered, so as not to wake her husband in the next room.

When he saw her standing there, Alonzo buried his face as far as he could into Zephyr's neck. Zylvia easily guessed this had something to do with the incident. Her expression softened and she made her way over to them.

Zach spoke up, "Al really needed him here, I had to call him."

"Zyljaka..." Zephyr started but he didn't know what to say. She smiled sympathetically at him as she kneeled in front of them.

"Al...?" she didn't touch him, just in case she scared him, "Did something happen?" she glanced briefly at Zach, who exchanged a look with Zephyr then ducked his head and Zylvia turned slightly more stern, addressing all three of them, "... If there's something wrong, you need to tell me. Should I call Hazel?"

Al's head jerked up at his mother's name and he stared at Zylvia, silently begging her not to. His breathing picked up again and he shook his head, mouthing the word 'no'.

"Alright, alright..." she soothed, gently touching his arm, "But you need to tell me what happened."

Al dropped his head again, "It sounds so stupid now..." his voice cracked.

"Alonzo-"

"Mom," Zach tapped her shoulder and she turned to look at him, "I don't think he wants to talk about it anymore, it's really messed him up."

Sighing, Zylvia looked back at Al and stroked a hand through his hair before standing up and gesturing for her son to follow her out of the room. Zach briefly glanced back at his friends as he got up.

"I'll explain everything, you don't have to worry about it," he told Al but only got a nervous look in response, "I _promise_. It'll be alright."

The door clicked shut behind him and Zephyr waited patiently to see if Al would say something. He didn't, though, and Zeph reached up to brush his hair aside, "It's not stupid, you know."

"... I'm crying over _marshmallows_, for Z's sake. I don't even have the right to be crying about anything, let alone about zraghan _candy_...!"

He was getting irritable again and Zephyr moved his hand to rub the back of his neck, curling a lock of hair around his finger, "Hey, hey, sshh..." Al seemed to relax, just a little, closing his eyes and tipping his head back, "Baby, you're gonna have relapses and episodes like thi-"

Al suddenly jerked out of his grasp, frowning at him.

"_Episodes_?"

He looked almost offended and Zephyr paused, "... Al, listen to me," he placed one hand on Al's, "You have PTSD. This sort of thing happens. I..." he shrugged, not quite meeting Al's eyes, "I get them, too... So does Paizley."

Al was quiet for a few seconds.

"Neither of you are going full zombie over a midnight snack, though. Neither of you committed a crime. _Paizley_ watched everything she cared about get set on fire. And she got _tasered_. When she was _seven_. And _you_... you watched me _murder_ someone. I..." something dawned on him and he looked up at Zephyr with sorrowful eyes, "... I _gave_ you PTSD. If you're getting anything like this, then it's my fau-"

"Do _not_ go there," Zephyr stopped him, "We talked about this, you can't blame yourself for everything. And that's not the issue here, anyway."

"Then what is?"

"That you relapsed."

"Don't call it that..."

"That's what it is. It can happen at any time, the important thing is you recognise it and... keep trying to last longer."

He couldn't help but feel nervous being so upfront about this. Zombies still didn't get any kind of proper mental health care and the only help Zephyr had been getting was with the school counsellor, but even if he couldn't get a real diagnosis, he had been told that he was showing symptoms. And he could see the exact same symptoms in Alonzo, but this was the first time he had put any kind of label to it. Al knew what he was implying whenever he brought up the difficulties they were both having, but it felt so... _extreme_ to actually hear it out loud. Especially when the humans didn't want to give him any help for it. He was the guilty one in all this, after all.

He clearly wasn't doing as well as he pretended to be.

"Zephyr, my Z-band was still online. But it didn't stop me. You think I could stop _myself_? I don't even understand why this is happening _now_! I've been out of containment for months and I'm literally going feral over candy out of nowhere. I have no idea what came over me back there, I've never done anything even _close_ to that. The smell of brains is supposed to make me vomit, it's not supposed to make me _hungry_. I _hate_ brains. Now more than ever! What made me do that? 'Cause I don't think it was PTSD."

That was certainly a baffling question. Al dropped his head, having worn himself out emotionally by this point, while Zephyr sat in contemplation. When he finally spoke, it was soft, mostly to himself.

"... Withdrawals."

Al looked up, "What?"

Zephyr was quiet again for a moment, then nodded slowly and locked eyes with him, "I think you're having withdrawals."

"Withdrawals?"

"From brains. Or at least brain food."

Al rolled his eyes, "Yeah, thanks, I think I got that part."

He could let the biting sarcasm go, Zeph knew how badly this was effecting him. He needed to find something that might relieve at least a little bit of this weight on Al's shoulders.

"... You weren't actually sick until after you finished the whole bag, right?"

"Yeah..." Al said slowly, giving him an uneasy look, "Why...?"

There was something on Zephyr's mind. An idea.

"Do you think," he started, taking a chance at looking Al in the eye, "You could handle a small amount? Like, just one marshmallow, or a stalk of cauliflower or something? Every now and then."

"... Are you _serious_?"

"Hear me out. If you give the zombie just a little bit of what it wants, it could keep it down. We all get cravings, its why we have zombie food in the first place, it's just getting extreme for you because your body got used to only being fed brain food and nothing else for so long."

"I am _never_ touching brains, in any form, real or fake, _ever_ again," Al said firmly, though his voice was shaking, "As long as I have any say in it."

"It was just a suggestion, garzi'ka," Zephyr spoke gently, one hand covering Al's as his thumb moved across his knuckles. He noticed how he bristled, biting back another sharp reply and nodding instead.

After a short pause, Alonzo reached out to wind his arms around Zephyr's neck and nestled into him. Zephyr welcomed it with a sad smile. A moment later, Al mumbled something into his shoulder, only just audible.

"You're the best, Zeph," he held him tighter, "And... I'm so proud of you..."

"What?" Zephyr tilted his head, lifting Al's chin to look in his eyes, "Why?"

"You're handling everything so much better than I am. You went back to counselling and you're putting in so much work-"

Zephyr shook his head slowly, "It's not fair, though. I'm getting all this help and what do you get? Nothing. Nobody's out here helping _you_."

"You are."

The look in his eye made Zephyr freeze. It was a look that gave more thanks than any words ever could, and the only thing he could think to do was kiss him. They got so caught up in it, though, that neither of them noticed the door opening again until they heard Zach's voice, trying and failing to suppress a laugh, and they jumped apart.

"Wow. You know, if this was all some elaborate scheme to get Zephyr over here and me gone just so you could make out... that's actually pretty clever, we really need to rethink your position as the dumb one."

While Zephyr gave him a blank stare, Al actually stifled a laugh. Zephyr's sour expression immediately softened at the sound.

"So, you told your mom what happened?" he asked, knowing Al would be too nervous to ask himself.

"Yeah, and she woke up my dad, too," at that, Al's eyes widened and Zach quickly reassured him, "You've got nothing to worry about, though. They're both on your side in this. And they said they won't call your mom themselves but they _really_ think you should."

Al considered it briefly but shook his head, "No. It's too late now, anyway. I'm not waking her up for this."

"Garzi'ka, she needs to know."

"I _know_," Al turned to Zeph, "But it can wait till the morning, it needs to be face-to-face, anyway. The only thing I wanna do right now is sleep."

Stroking a hand through Al's hair, Zephyr nodded in agreement, "That's probably a good idea."

"Oh, and Zeph," Zach nudged him once, "They said you can spend the night, too. I think Al's gonna feel better that way."

Zephyr was all for that, but he shot Alonzo a questioning look just to be sure. He got a puppy-dog face in response.

"Please?"

"Like I'd say 'no' when you need me."

Soon after, all three of them were drifting off, and Zephyr only just remembered to text Rizzo before promptly falling asleep with Alonzo in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer **\- I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't.

The first two chapters were originally all I planned to write when this was just going to be a bonus chapter, but then I listened to Feed Me way too much and I came up with this idea

**Chapter 3 theme songs:** Yo Girl from Heathers the Musical, Feed Me from Little Shop Of Horrors and Say My Name (preview version) from the Beetlejuice musical

* * *

Chapter 3

~ _We can be a team like the world has never seen, but you gotta free me first_ ~

Zephyr was awoken the following morning by his Z-band's light as yet another message came through from his sister. He moaned, rubbing his eyes before looking at the screen, then when he saw Rizzo's name, he snapped awake completely.

"_Zragh vak_."

In all his concern for Alonzo, he had forgotten he technically wasn't supposed to be there, and he probably should have gone home before his parents realised he was missing. It was far too late for that now, though; they'd be getting up for work soon enough and Rizzo wouldn't be able to hide anything then.

However, the priority right now was for him and Zach to walk Alonzo home and be there for him when he talked to Hazel about the night before.

She was clearly surprised when her son arrived home flanked by his boyfriend and best friend, and even more surprised by the nervous and sombre look on his face. But she knew straight away, sooner than Zylvia had, that it had something to do with the incident. No matter how much he tried to hide it these days, Hazel could always tell it still lingered over him, constantly. She hugged him on sight, holding him tightly and kissing his hair, then gestured for all three of them to sit down in the living room.

With Zephyr and Zach providing whatever comfort they could, and Zach explaining what had happened when Al wasn't conscious of his actions, he told her the whole story; that he had somehow been drawn towards brain-flavoured food rather than be repulsed by it as he had been for so long and in acting on it, made himself sick again, which then resulted in his breakdown, prompting Zach to call Zephyr for help.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you when it happened," Al sniffed, "It was the middle of the night, I didn't wanna wake you up and scare you like that..."

Hazel reached out to stroke his face, "Hey, it's OK. You're telling me now. And I am still not going to judge you for any of this. This is _not_ your fault, Alonzo," her thumb brushed his cheek and he smiled sadly at her, "Is that all you needed to say to me?"

Al avoided her eyes for a moment. He should have known, his mom always knew if there was still something bothering him. He swallowed.

"I-I tried to take off my Z-band again," he just barely managed to say, unable to meet his mother's eyes. Her mouth fell open and her hand flew to her heart as she looked from him, to Zephyr and Zach, who each gave her a sad look in response. Al bit his lip as he tried, and failed, not to cry again. He couldn't even keep his head up, "I just... It wasn't _working_. I didn't know what else to do..."

Zephyr and Zach exchanged a look. They both suspected there was more to it than that, and they were right. He tried to remove his band because he wanted to stop thinking. He wanted to stop feeling. He wanted to just... _stop_. He was convinced he was already enough of a threat; it wouldn't make things any worse. But it didn't seem like he was ready to admit that out loud, so instead he cried in her arms with his boyfriend and best friend gently consoling him.

– FAR FROM OVER –

Upon arriving home, Zephyr was met by his sister leaning against the kitchen door. She whipped round to face him when he entered, looking apologetic, and started towards him.

"I'm sorry, I had to tell them...!"

"It's alright," he said, holding up his hands, "I shoulda told you I wasn't coming home but... it got really serious. He needed me to stay with him."

Rizzo's eyes bulged and she leaned closer, whispering, "How serious?"

"We'd like to know, too," the twins both looked up at the sound of their mother's stern tone from the kitchen table. Zynthia sat there beside Zeus and Zephyr and Rizzo exchanged an uneasy look before they moved closer. Zynthia softened a little, "I know this is about Alonzo, I know you need to be there for him, but you cannot be sneaking out after curfew like that without us knowing! Certainly not at a time like this, and especially someone as involved as you are! Do you have any idea what could have happened if the patrol found you?"

"I _know_, but-"

"No buts," Zeus interrupted. He gestured to the empty chairs on the other side of the table and the twins both sat down, "Listen, son, this is not something we can take lightly. You were putting yourself in so much danger taking a risk like that."

Zephyr took a breath, "Al needed me. He was having a breakdown."

"What do you mean by 'a breakdown'?" Zeus asked and Zephyr glanced between his parents then to his sister. They were all staring at him.

"... He went feral," the second he said it, the atmosphere shifted and the other three zombies' jaws dropped as they tried to process what he was saying, "He was staying over at Zach's place and he told Zach it'd be fine to have brain food around him but when Al smelled it, I dunno, something must've snapped in his head. He said he couldn't remember anything about it, like he blacked out or something. So Zach called me to come over and then when we were talking, he..." he bit down on his lip at the memory, not sure if he should share that detail.

"What?" Zynthia was the only one with the nerve to ask.

"... He almost took his band off again," he explained and he heard three soft gasps, "Or, he tried to. It's locked, so he couldn't actually get it off anyway, but still. He wanted to take it off... 'cause..." he hesitated. _Because he didn't want to have to deal with it anymore..._ "... He said if it wasn't working like it's supposed to, it didn't matter."

None of them knew what to say for a minute or two, then Zynthia looked at him.

"Does Hazel know about all this?"

"Yeah. Zach and I walked him home and we all talked to her. I wanted to hang around, make sure he was alright before I left."

"Which explains why you took your time getting home," Zeus noted, "But we can't let you sneaking out last night go. Your mother and I know how important it is for you to be with Al at times like this but you can't go putting yourself in harm's way to do it. If you really need to see him after dark then you _tell us_. We need to know where you are and that you're safe _at all times_."

He wasn't so sure about that; the mere thought of telling someone else, especially his parents, every time Alonzo was going through something felt like a betrayal of trust. Then again, his counsellor was always reminding him that he needed not only to talk about things openly, but to think about himself, and his own safety and stability, as well as Al. And remember that there were other people in his life, besides his boyfriend, who worried about him.

Zephyr sighed and nodded, "I will," although he was already desperate to run back to Alonzo. He needed to be with him.

– FAR FROM OVER –

Al struggled to fall asleep that night, plagued by the memories of what happened at Zach's house. It seemed like such a simple thing, being tempted to eat brain-flavoured food, but the implications of how easily he lost control of himself, his body's reaction to it, and the daunting level of anxiety and self-loathing it brought with it, left him fearful of what might come next. Worst of all was that Zephyr's words were actually making him feel _worse_ – what he said about withdrawals in particular.

Just when it looked like he might actually be settling down, Alonzo was awoken by an unexpected sound.

"Withdrawals, huh? Yeah, we sure as vak are having withdrawals."

Al froze at the voice, wondering who it could possibly be when the only people in the house were him and his mom. It sounded young, and male, so it couldn't have been his mom. Only a second later did he realise that it was, in fact, his own voice. But he wasn't speaking. There was nobody around to speak _to_. Slowly, Alonzo glanced around, rolling over from facing the wall to the rest of the room. Who could he even be talking to? Other than...

"Over here, genius."

... Himself.

There was an old, cracked, full-length mirror propped against the wall in one corner that he could just see into from his bed. At first glance, the reflection in it appeared normal enough, but then he turned on the light and noticed the expression on its face. Confident. Annoyed. Impatient. Not a trace of the uneasiness or guilt or confusion he was feeling. When he tested it, the rest of the reflection's body moved in sync with him, as it should, but the face was a different story entirely. Its mouth opened.

"You finally getting it? Or are you gonna make me explain to _myself_ why we're going crazy?"

Al squinted as the reflection spoke. There was something else odd about it, other than the fact it was speaking to him in the first place, and it took him a few seconds to figure out exactly what it was. When he saw it, his heart sank.

The reflection's eyes were circled with black, which webbed out across his face. Similar black veins were scattered across his body; his neck, his shoulders, arms, chest, everywhere. Despite still moving along with him when he turned his head or lifted a hand, its posture and movements were ever so slightly stiffer than normal. When it stopped speaking, its jaw hung loose and slack, like it didn't quite fit in his skull. And its teeth always seemed to be bared. As Al's eyes scanned further down, he felt his heart stop completely.

The zombie wasn't wearing a Z-band.

In a panic, Al grabbed his own arm and instantly relaxed, if only a tiny bit, when he felt his band there right where it was meant to be. But his reflection was gripping a bare wrist, and... glaring back at him...

"It's your own fault I'm not wearing it," it reminded him, "You're the one who took it off."

He tried to ignore that and shook his head, "What is going on here?"

The zombie also shook its head, with a more condescending and mocking look on its face, "We're going crazy. Didn't I already say that?"

"I mean, that's kinda obvious. _Why_, though?"

"Exactly why Zephka said," Alonzo leaned back on his hands with a cautious frown, but the zombie's expression was more sinister, quirking an eyebrow and seeming to look down its nose back at him, "Because _you're_ not giving me the good stuff."

Al grimaced, "Brains are _not_ the good stuff..."

"Speak for yourself. Zephka knows what he's talking about. Why can't we listen to him, huh?"

"What?"

"He told you to try giving me a little something sometimes. You give me what I want, and I'll keep quiet. It's always worked that way."

Al couldn't bear to look at the mirror, "You never cared about it being _brains_ before."

"C'mon... It's for _Zephka_..." he could hear the cruel and teasing smirk in his own detached voice and he shuddered, "And we'd do _anything_ for Zephka, right? Even kill for him."

Alonzo's head snapped up and he returned the zombie's glare, "_You_ would kill for him."

"And you'd _risk_ killing for him."

"Look, is flesh not enough for you? Do you really need brains _that_ much?"

"It used to be enough, but now I know what we were missing out on. We can't survive our whole life on _potato fingers_."

"Hey, I eat more than just potato fingers, OK?"

On both sides of the mirror, Al rolled his eyes.

"Sure you do, but I'm getting sick of only ever eating flesh."

"_You're_ sick of eating _flesh_?" Al sat bolt upright, eyes blazing as he stared down his reflection, which stared back with an unnerving smile and one eyebrow raised, waiting, "You know what you did to me just from eating something brain-flavoured?"

Now it was a near-perfect mirror image; both sides were angry, gritting their teeth, and hunched over.

"Zephka said it only had to be a little. Every now and then," the zombie gave a sarcastic laugh at the way Al faltered, "Dude, I'm not gonna _massacre_ another bag of candy, alright? Za'ka was practically waving it right in our face, you can't blame me for that! I wouldn't have to go all monster on you if you just _gave_ me some brains. Don't you want Zephka to quit worrying?"

Alonzo didn't answer. Instead, he lay down again and rolled onto his back. The zombie did the same, but whereas Al's expression never changed while he raked his hands down his face, on the other side, he was grinning.

"Zephka wants this for us..." he mumbled, staring up at the ceiling just as Al did. They both closed their eyes, "_Zephka_...! Ag garzi'ka. Ag _zrugra_..."

That was followed by a light snickering; the laughter that normally filled the conversations Al had with Zach about his and Zephyr's relationship.

Although it pained him to admit it, the zombie in the mirror was still him, and as such, they shared one mind. When the zombie's current thoughts entered his head, Alonzo couldn't help but squirm in discomfort. In any other situation, he'd be fine with those thoughts. More than fine, even. But right now, it only made him hate himself more.

"Stop thinking about him like that..." he muttered weakly.

"Why should I? These are your thoughts, too. And you never had a problem with it before."

"Not _now_...!" Al hissed under his breath, "And definitely not when it's all _your_ idea. He deserves better than just being an excuse for you."

"But he's such a _good_ excuse...!" the zombie whined and they looked at each other, "Look, all that care and affection isn't really my thing. That's the human in you. I'm the raw instinct. And desire." He winked.

"Ugh..."

There was silence for a moment, Alonzo staring at his reflection as he wondered if any of this was real. Then the zombie spoke again.

"... But I _am_ the reason he still loves us."

"What?" Al frowned.

"You remember what he said, right? He loves us even more now, because of me-"

"He loves that we- _I_ saved him," Al cut in quickly before the thought could go any further, "He loves me for risking everything for him. That doesn't mean he'd want me to do it again. He wants me to get better."

Irritated, the zombie let out a low growl, "And we'll _get_ better once we get some _brains_ into us! Look at me. You see this? This is the real you. You're a zombie, and zombies. Need. Brains. Z knows we haven't got one in our _head_!"

Alonzo flinched hearing himself shout. He almost never shouted. He hated shouting. And it was ten times worse this way, because it was coming from himself, and he knew his own weaknesses and insecurities.

"Stop..."

The zombie in the mirror paused, seeming more to cock his head when Al dropped his, and pouted mockingly, "Aw, but bwains make your wittle tummy hurt, don't they?"

Al screwed his eyes shut, covering his ears, "Shut up...!" It was no use, though, it was all in his head anyway. He would see and hear and _feel_ the zombie no matter what.

"Let me out again."

"No...!"

"Lose your band. Like, literally, _lose_ it. Get rid of it. I already got through yesterday, but because of that zraghan garzand, you were still conscious, and it made you sick. Because you have _senses_. And _feelings_. I don't have those things..."

The voice softened, which wasn't exactly comforting, but it was enough for Al to look back again. He met his own eyes, still rimmed with black but suddenly filled with concern, and spoke to himself gently.

"I want to help you. I want us to _survive_. I'd never hurt Zephka. Or Za'ka, or any of our friends. And definitely not Maka, or Linka. Or any other zombie," despite the zombie's caring tone, Alonzo was unsettled. This was all coming from him. This was a part of him, the part that wanted this. It continued, "Lose the Z-band, and you won't have to deal with any more of this. It'll all be me."

Al was growing tired of arguing, "Losing my Z-band would mean getting locked up again."

"And _that_ would mean more brain food! At least there's that!"

"You think that's gonna convince me?" Al shot a sarcastic smile into the mirror, "Besides, this band's locked. I wouldn't be able to break it off even if I wanted to."

"The old one wasn't supposed to break, either, though, was it? And look what happened," his reflection smiled back, "That's the power of love for ya."

"They'd give me a new band anyway."

"And we'd break that, too!"

"No. We're never doing that again. Why am I even discussing this? I'm in control here."

The zombie turned deadly serious, "You don't have to be."

"Every time we got another Z-band, I'd be conscious again. You would get to go and live out whatever sick fantasies you want, then I'd have to deal with the aftermath. I would get shocked daily, I wouldn't be able to eat without vomiting and everybody would hate me even more than they already do."

"If they already hate you for protecting Zephka, why not give them a _real_ reason to hate you?"

Alonzo let out a frustrated growl, as did the zombie, "They don't hate me for saving Zephyr! They hate me because _you_ ruined everything we worked for!"

"It was your decision to take off the Z-band in the first place. Doing it again won't make much difference. You almost did it back at Za'ka's place, anyway. So what's the problem?"

"_Shut your mouth_."

"It's your mouth, too."

"That doesn't matter!" Al said slowly, eyes locked on the zombie's, "You're in my head, where you _belong_, and you're gonna stay there."

"That doesn't make me any less real. I'm still a part of you," Al dropped his gaze to the floor and the zombie grinned, baring his teeth, "You can't just ignore me."

"I can try," he said bitterly but the zombie's smile never wavered.

It was almost like his own reflection was looking down at him, like it knew more than him. The zombie spoke slowly, knowingly, "That's not healthy, you know. You can't keep pretending everything's fine. I'll still be here. And I'm not gonna shut up again until I get what I want."

"You better be prepared to wait that long."

"You're only hurting yourself."

"So are you."

"I'm trying to help."

"You're _not_ helping."

It went on for what felt like hours, until Alonzo tired himself out with the constant back-and-forth in his own head and finally fell asleep.

Or had he been asleep the whole time? He had no way of knowing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer **\- I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't.

We're almost at the end...

**Chapter 3 theme songs:** What's Wrong With Me? from Mean Girls the Musical, Seventeen and Kindergarten Boyfriend from Heathers the Musical

* * *

Chapter 4

~ _We both know you're cruel, and we both know you're right_ ~

Had it not been a Monday, and had he not needed to go to school, Alonzo probably would have avoided Zephyr the next day.

When he woke up, exhausted and groggy, he rubbed his eyes till they were sore, like it would remove the things he had seen the night before, but when he opened them he was startled at the sight he was met with. Out of the corner of his eye, in the mirror against the wall, he could still see his zombie-self looking back at him, just as blurry-eyed as he was. He jumped and scrambled back on his bed but a second look showed nothing but a perfectly ordinary reflection. No black veins, no slack jaw, no stiff movements, and a functioning Z-band secured to his wrist.

Regardless, he was shaken by the reappearance of the zombie and it took him a few minutes before he could even get out of bed. He didn't dare look back at the mirror.

He tried to act normal at breakfast, or at least as 'normal' as he had been acting since the incident, but Hazel obviously picked up on it. With a small sigh, she reached out and pushed the bowl of flesh flakes he had been nursing for the past five minutes away. He dropped his spoon on the table and the hand he had been resting his chin on followed it. He blinked and lifted his head just enough to meet his mother's eyes and cringed inwardly when he saw how worried she was.

"Honey, is there something wrong?"

He just barely managed to mumble, "Nightmares..." He absentmindedly rubbed at his eye again. He still couldn't decide if it really was a nightmare or not. Maybe a hallucination...? He didn't want to even suggest that it could be real.

Hazel paused, thinking.

"Do you want to stay home today?"

_Yes._

"No," he forced himself to say, his voice a little rough but not too bad, "I'm fine. I'll forget it in, like, an hour."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and Hazel reluctantly accepted. She did at least manage to make him promise he'd call her if anything happened, but soon Zephyr knocked on the door and Al could escape.

They walked hand-in-hand through Zombie Town; Alonzo never realised just how tight Zephyr's grip was when he was holding on just as tightly himself. They met up with Zach and Roz on the way but aside from giving them permission to talk about it, Al kept quiet as Zephyr and Zach filled Roz in on what she had missed. She offered him some reassurance but honestly, it was all in one ear and out the other. His mind was on other things.

He was like that the whole day, quiet and unresponsive, though that wasn't so out of the ordinary now. What was strange was that he was acting that way even with his friends, even with _Zephyr_, which made them all worry. When any of them tried to talk to him, he was completely lost in thought, and none of them could get him to explain.

Because it was too hard to explain that every time he saw his reflection, even just in the black screen of his Z-band, _he_ was there. And even when he wasn't there, staring back at him from black-rimmed eyes, he could hear that low, guttural echo of his voice loud and clear in his head, telling him everything he was doing wrong, everything that would be easier without his Z-band, everything that would be fixed if he just _gave up_.

It was difficult to sit through English class with the way Roz would glance over at Keira every now and then, thinking he wouldn't notice, and never see the human girl look back. That was his own fault, though, and he had been putting up with the guilt for ages, but now with the zombie appearing as it was, it hit harder. It was a reminder that he couldn't run away from what he had done and Zephyr wasn't there to help him through it. In fact, he wouldn't see Zephyr until school was over, and even then they'd only have a few minutes before he had to go to counselling. He spent that remaining time in near silence, stuck in his own head.

He wasn't feeling any better by the end of the day when they finally saw each other. They walked down the hallway, Zephyr gently squeezing Al's hand when he caught sight of his nervous expression, "Hey, what's wrong? Something on your mind?"

He chewed on his lip, "Hm. Sorta."

"You wanna tell me what it is?"

Al paused, then sighed, "You have counselling."

"I got time," he tugged on his hand but Al hesitated, "... You _can _talk to me, you know."

Nodding, Al looked down, "I know..." his eyes stayed on their joined hands for a moment then he slowly lifted his head, not quite looking at Zeph, "I just can't... right _now_..."

It seemed like Zephyr was going to accept this. He took hold of Al's other hand, turning him so they were face-to-face, "You gonna just head home on your own?"

"Um..." Al thought for a moment, "I can go find Zach."

Zephyr scanned his face then nodded, "Alright," he gently pulled him down by his hands to peck his lips, but Al felt like he was just going through the motions, "Love you."

Al let his hands slip out of Zeph's grasp, "Love you, too," and he watched him turn and walk away down the hall before heaving a sigh and walking off in the opposite direction, towards the exit.

He didn't go to meet Zach.

He made his way back to Zombie Town with his head lowered, alone with his thoughts. Zephyr was obviously still happy with him, wasn't he? He was concerned for him, which meant he cared. Which meant he was happy to be with Al.

"_We both know he isn't," _Alonzo screwed his eyes shut at the voice but he knew it wasn't worth trying to silence it, _"He's only staying with us because of me. He feels obligated to you."_

"Shut up..." he muttered under his breath. There was a few other zombies around, but none close enough to hear him.

"_What he's feeling right now? That's not love for you. That's a desire to be with somebody who can protect him. And you know who protected him?"_

"Me," Alonzo whispered.

"_Me,"_ the zombie corrected, _"And what about that fight he got into? The one that got him kicked off the football team? When has Zephka ever gotten into a real fight for _you_?" _Al knew what was coming and didn't even try to retaliate,_ "So maybe he punched someone once or twice for being homophobic, he has never gone to the same level he went to for _me_."_

"He has PTSD. He got mad. He got violent. And that's _your_ fault."

"_You can't pin it all on me."_

The other zombies were starting to stare.

"Just get out of my head...!"

"_Where else am I supposed to go?"_

By now, he had arrived home, having endured the uneasy looks from the zombies he passed. The next few hours carried on just like this, a never-ending attack on everything that he had achieved since the incident; all his hard work and learning not to blame himself and feeling like he didn't deserve anyone, let alone Zephyr, loving him. The emergence of this other side of him had torn it all down in barely a day.

Refusing dinner when his mom asked, he quietly excused himself to his room where he could do nothing but lay on his back and try not to think, keeping the mirror out of his line of sight. He even got up after a few minutes to turn it around, because he could just _sense_ it there. Then, a short while before curfew, he got a text.

**Zephyr:** hey garzi'ka

**Zephyr:** you ok? you wanna talk yet?

**Alonzo:** dunno

**Alonzo**: not feeling so good

**Zephyr:** i'm worried about you

Alonzo didn't answer just yet. Normally when Zephyr said that, he felt reassured, because it meant he was thinking of him, and that he was there for him. Now it only made him feel worse. More guilty. He stared at the message for some time, until he realised he'd been silent for far too long. Zephyr would only be worrying more now. He made a snap decision.

**Alonzo:** u busy?

**Zephyr:** no

**Zephyr:** need me to come over?

**Alonzo:** can we meet somewhere instead?

**Alonzo:** by the barrier?

**Zephyr:** i'll be at the gate in 5 mins

– FAR FROM OVER –

"You're here after hours, Morgan."

Alonzo groaned internally and scowled at the patrol officer on guard, "I'm not leaving Zombie Town, _Fran_. I'm just meeting Zephyr."

"Hey!" she snapped, "That's 'officer' to you, zombie, I've warned you about that already."

He rolled his eyes and leaned back against the barrier with his hands in his pockets. He had gotten to know Frances during his year in zombie containment and she was just as crabby and insensitive now as that first day at Seabrook High when she grabbed Bonzo outside the door. Sometimes he even thought that maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to direct _all_ of his hatred to his father when someone as deserving as her existed.

It didn't even take the full five minutes for Zephyr to show up and immediately envelop Alonzo in a hug. For a moment, he just held onto him, breathing him in and letting the familiar warmth ground him, but then the guilt kicked in and he remembered why he had asked Zephyr to meet him. Zephyr was already speaking, though.

"You ready to talk now?" he asked as he pulled away, keeping his arms securely wrapped around Al and looking him right in the eye. Al suddenly felt like he couldn't face him. He dropped his gaze to the ground but Zephyr tilted his chin up again, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Al took a breath and placed his hands over Zephyr's. Then he gently lifted them away.

"You've stuck it out this long, i-it's fine, Zeph, you don't..." he trailed off and sighed, "You can let me go, I'll understand."

But Zephyr only squinted in response, "Let you go?"

"I know it's not gonna last, I'm just gonna drag you down with me. I mean, I already did..." Al's voice sounded so small, and so scared, but all Zephyr could do was stare at him, "We thought we were getting through this but it's obviously not working."

He was avoiding Zephyr's eyes, but if he looked he'd see they were filled with desperate concern, "Al, what are you talking about? We're in this together, aren't we?"

"We don't have to be," Al finally looked at him, "You don't have to feel like you should stay with me because I saved you."

For a moment, Zephyr was too stunned to speak. And somewhat hurt.

"... Are you breaking up with me...?"

He went quiet, "... I'm saying _you_ should break up with me..."

Oh. Now he understood. Zephyr turned Al's face towards him, "If you really wanted us to break up, you'd say it yourself."

"I don't!" Alonzo brought a hand up to cover Zephyr's, then slowly remove it from his cheek, "I just know you'd be better off without-" Zephyr threw Al's hand away.

"I would _not_. Nothing is going to be better without you. Where is this coming from?"

"Nowhere!" he insisted, suddenly feeling defensive as his eyes shifted back and forth. He turned away, "I've just been thinking and... You know, things got really bad between us before. And if I'm... _relapsing_ or whatever, it could happen again."

"Except we understand what's going on now. We know we both have this problem and we can help each other through it," Zephyr reminded him, then frowned at how uncertain Alonzo looked, "... Right?"

"But..." he trailed off, floundering slightly, unable to find the words, "I-I... I _don't_ understand what's going on. It doesn't make any sense and I'm..." his lip was quivering and Zephyr brought a hand back to his face, "I'm scared, Zeph," then, much softer, with a subtle glance at Frances to make sure she wasn't listening, "He scares me..."

Zephyr tensed.

"Who?" he asked urgently.

Alonzo hesitated, casting another brief glance at Frances, then took Zephyr's hand and pulled him away from the barrier.

"It's almost curfew, both of you better head straight home!" she yelled after them and Al waved dismissively over his shoulder at her.

They didn't go straight home; instead, Alonzo led Zephyr to the power plant. They didn't need to go upstairs or anything, he just wanted a quiet, closed off space where they could talk in private and not be overheard or interrupted.

"Al...?" Zephyr tried to get him to explain as he stumbled along behind him, but not once did Al even turn around. He just kept a firm grip on Zeph's hand until they reached the entrance. He checked that no-one had seen them, then pushed Zephyr inside and followed along after him.

"What is going on with you?" Zephyr demanded as gently as he could. He watched Alonzo pace back and forth for a minute or two then crash his back against the wall and slide down to the floor. Zeph was crouched by his side in an instant, "Al? Talk to me, garzi'ka."

"I..." Al's mouth opened and closed a few times before he could actually put anything into words, "A-after that... episode at Zach's place, last night, when I tried to go to sleep I-I... I saw myself in, like, full zombie-mode in the mirror. And," he finally met Zephyr's eyes, "That's bad enough already, right? It didn't even have a Z-band. My own reflection wasn't wearing a Z-band. And that's not even it! The reflection was, like... _talking_ to me. I was talking to myself..."

"Al," Zephyr took his hands, "It's alright. It was just a nightmare. You have your Z-band on and you're in control here. OK?"

"I know... I know, but it..." he let out an exasperated sigh. Now that he'd started, he couldn't stop, "He's so... _not_ me, but everything he says has to be coming from me. You're right about the whole withdrawals thing. He wants brains. But I can't give him the fake stuff without making myself sick and since he's not getting _that_, then..." he suddenly clammed up. He didn't want to have to say it, and Zephyr had clearly already guessed what it was. But he felt like he had to face it – he had to say it out loud and accept it, "He wants the real thing. He was telling me I had to take off my band."

"Alonzo-"

"I know I'm being stupid, I know it can't be real but... I can't stop thinking about it. I keep seeing him. Every time I see my reflection, it's a zombie. It's gotta just be my mind playing tricks on me or something, 'cause I look at it again and it's back to normal but..." he was rambling to the point he ran out of breath and Zephyr quickly took hold of his hands again.

"Hey, hey, breathe..." he soothed. Al closed his eyes, his head lowered, and gradually steadied his breathing, "Just breathe, garzi'ka, it's OK, I'm here..."

"I can't get rid of him..."

"You will," Zephyr promised, "It'll pass."

He let Zephyr pull him into a hug. He let him whisper to him and softly rock him back and forth. He let him think the comfort was actually working.

Al slowly pushed him away, "Zeph...?"

"Yeah?"

"You still love me, right?"

"Of course I do."

"... Say it?"

"I love you, Alonzo," he smiled softly, brushing his hair aside, and kissed him. But Al could only enjoy it for a moment, until he heard what Zephyr said next, "Look at everything you did, just for me."

"_See?" _a cruel voice growled in his head,_ "_I'm_ the reason he still loves us."_

The voice came out of nowhere, making him flinch and he had no time to hide it from Zephyr.

"What's wrong?" he asked urgently.

Al put a hand on his arm, "It's nothing..." he insisted. Zeph went to protest but Al wasn't going to let him, "Really, Zeph. I'll be fine," he hugged him tightly, resting his chin on Zephyr's shoulder, "I love you, too..."

The zombie wasn't going anywhere.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer **\- I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't.

Happy Halloween, everyone! Here we are at the end of the TM sequel! I may or may not have an idea for a third (and final) installment, probably a one-shot, we'll see about that. But for now, it's time to once again say goodbye to this AU...! The next multichap should be the backstory for Alonzo's family~

[Trigger warning: this chapter references suicide]

**Chapter 5 theme songs:** Let It Out from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, Dead Girl Walking (Reprise) from Heathers the Musical and What You Mean To Me from StarStruck

* * *

Chapter 5

~ _Is this me, or is this you? Am I dead? I'm coming apart at the seams_ ~

"Are you convinced yet?"

Alonzo was trying so hard to block the zombie's voice out, burying his face in his pillow to the point he could be about to suffocate himself, and covering his ears with his hands as his nails dug into his scalp. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were screwed shut but through it all, he still heard it. It was never actually coming from the mirror, after all. It was all, quite literally, in his head. And during the day now, not just at night. Every reflection spoke to him. It had been a full week since the incident at Zach's house and he wasn't sure how much longer he could take this.

"Shut up...!"

"I'll take that as a 'no'," the zombie sighed, Al refusing to look at it for even a second. He wouldn't budge, "I'm not going to leave until I get what I want. Either you give me brain food or we get rid of the Z-band and you let me take over."

"_No_."

"Well, what bright ideas do _you_ have, huh?"

It felt like this had been going on forever and nothing Alonzo could say or do would make it stop, especially when he knew those _were_ his ideas. The zombie in the mirror was him. They were his only ideas, his only options, as far as he could tell. What did it say about him if his _only ideas_ were to either make himself sick and potentially trigger another episode, or endanger people's lives?

"What's that?" the voice mocked, "_Nothing_?"

Nothing. At all. As usual. What ideas did he _ever_ contribute to anything? Nevermind _good_ ideas.

"...But-"

"But _what_?"

Al shook his head, as though it would get rid of the voice, rid of the distorted reflection, "But... Zephyr..."

"Zephka loves me."

He gritted his teeth, "He loves _me_. He wants me to get better."

"This will make us better," the zombie urged but Alonzo pretended not to hear.

"And what about Mom? This would kill her...!"

"She won't have to deal with us anymore. She'll have nothing to worry about."

"Zach."

"Did you _see_ how scared he was after he saw me come out? Or when he was telling Rozka?"

"Roz, too!"

"It's your fault they lost Keirska. And they only hang out with you because of Zephka, anyway. They won't miss you."

He wasn't going to admit defeat just yet, but he was running out of hope, and running out of people who still cared.

"Lindzey," he tried, "Lindzey still wants to come live with us one day."

"She just doesn't want to keep living with that drakka," the zombie rolled his eyes, "Besides, if they put us in containment permanently, then Maka could afford for Linka to live with her instead of you."

"That's not what she wants!" he was starting to question if he really believed the things he was saying. After all, the zombie didn't, "That's not what either of them want. We're supposed to _all_ live together, without Dad."

"And there's another reason. The drakka. Just in general. Maybe he'll finally think we did something right."

"He's not important!"

"Nothing's important anymore," the zombie's voice was eerily calm and soft, "Nothing matters."

He should've known what would happen next. Alonzo had been MIA all day and he wasn't answering his Z-band. For the longest time, before he and Zephyr had even started dating, if nobody saw him all day, then Zephyr would find him. Because Alonzo _hated being alone_.

He knew Hazel was working that weekend, so Al must be home alone and when he didn't come to the door, Zephyr knew something was wrong. He quickly found the spare key and was inside, up the stairs and opening his boyfriend's bedroom door in a flash.

His heart stopped completely at the sight he was met with.

"Alonzo!"

He was too late to stop him; Al's fingers were already slipping beneath his Z-band and the second it separated from his skin, a powerful surge of electricity struck him. His arm spasmed and the rest of his body followed, causing him to scream out in pain as he crumpled to the floor. Zephyr instinctively flew to his side.

"What are you doing?!"

Al slowly raised his head, gritting his teeth as his hand gripped his burning wrist, "I'm giving up, OK? If he wants out so bad, what else can I do?"

Zephyr covered Al's hand with his own and it took everything he had to keep his voice steady, "Alonzo, he's not _real_."

But Al didn't hear him. Or if he did, he was ignoring him. Tears were pricking his eyes as he struggled to sit upright, "He won't leave..." His arm twitched.

"Baby, listen to me..." Zephyr reached out to pull Alonzo closer but right as he touched him, Al said something that made him freeze.

"You love him..." his eyes locked on Zephyr's, who was stunned into silence. He shook his head, _I don't..._ but it wasn't enough, "He's the one who saved you. You want him, and he wants you, and I can't handle living like this anymore," Al sat up as best he could, his back hunched and his hand holding onto his shaking wrist. His whole _body_ was shaking... "I can't get him to shut up, everyone hates me, I've ruined everything zombies worked for, my sister lost all her friends because of me, I broke up Roz's relationship, I panic whenever I'm around any kind of brain food-"

Zephyr finally found his voice and grabbed his shoulders, halting him in his rambling, "Breaking your Z-band is not going to solve anything! You're hurting yourself! And even if you did get it off, you'd be putting yourself in danger. You could put _everyone_ in danger," he realised he was shouting when Al flinched and dropped his head. Immediately softening, Zephyr moved his hands down to Al's and held them gently, "Besides, you'd get locked up again, and they'd just give you another band."

Alonzo refused to look at him, "I'll break it again."

Zeph tugged on his hand, growing desperate, "What if they _don't_ lock you up this time?" he was shaking thinking about it, but he needed Al to understand how scared he was, "You already did it once before, maybe they won't go so easy on you now. Especially if you take it off for no reason!" he bit back his tears and took a breath, "...What if you end up like Z?"

The first zombie had died at the hands of the zombie patrol. They had been conducting experiments, hoping to find a cure for zombism, and someone had suggested using limes, seeing as it was lime soda that caused the outbreak in the first place. But it had the opposite effect to what they had hoped and destabilised him to the point that it couldn't be reversed. Their only option was to kill him.

Alonzo went quiet, lost in thought. Zephyr's slow but heavy breathing was the only sound as he stared at his boyfriend, silently praying that he was getting through to him.

His voice was no more than a whisper.

"... I'll just have to take that risk..."

Zephyr felt his heart beat and he almost forgot to breathe altogether.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" he barely managed to ask.

"I wouldn't know what was happening," Al shrugged, just staring at nothing, "I'd be feral, I wouldn't feel anything..." there was a long pause, "... And you'd all be better off without me anyway."

"Al, you're scaring me. This is literally one step down from suicide."

It shook him to his very core to hear the cynical laugh that came out of Alonzo's mouth.

"Yeah, but I'm too much of a coward to commit..."

"Garzi'ka-"

"Seriously, Zeph, I don't think I could ever go that far," he assured him, "You don't have anything to worry about."

"I've got plenty to worry about! What if you'd actually got it off, huh? What if I hadn't shown up? Were you just gonna let your mom come home and find you _rabid_? What were you _thinking_?"

"We both know I don't _think_, Zeph," he mumbled in a bitter tone as he rubbed his wrist again, "I just needed to shut him up."

But Zephyr could see he was holding back tears at the mention of his mother. He sighed and held out a hand, "Here, let me see," he motioned for Alonzo to give him his hand and, reluctantly, he complied. Zephyr turned his arm over to inspect the skin around the Z-band, where the panel pressed against his pulse to emit the electromagnetic waves, and hissed sympathetically at the redness he found there before pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin, "I wish I could do something for you..."

Al was growing uncomfortable. Which felt wrong; after all, this was Zephyr, who he trusted more than anyone, but nonetheless he pulled his hand away and drew it to his chest.

"It'll heal. It's fine."

"It's not," Zephyr leaned closer, his tone firm but caring, "Did he tell you to do this?" Al just nodded, "Why?"

"Because everyone would be better off if I was locked up."

"And you believed him?"

For a moment, Al could do nothing but shrug and shake his head, then he eventually met Zephyr's eyes, "He's pretty convincing when you're already that low."

"Do you still believe him?" he asked nervously.

"... He made a lot of good points..."

"Like what?"

Al dropped his head, unable to look Zephyr in the eye as he spoke, "... Mom wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. And Lindzey could come live with her instead. Zach's probably scared of me now after what he saw. I ruined Roz's first real relationship, and she only really hangs around with me 'cause of you, anyway."

"Al, your mom isn't _dealing with_ you. She honestly cares about you. And you know neither of them would be happy if Lindzey moved in without you there, too."

He faltered, but the voice in his head was still guiding him, "... She just doesn't want to live with my dad... It doesn't have anything to do with me."

"Of course it's got something to do with you! She misses you! Z, she was so scared they wouldn't let her see you at all anymore after you went to containment," Al stayed quiet, "And Zach is not scared of you. He's scared _for_ you. We all are. Including Roz. She's your friend, too," he waited for a response but Al still wasn't saying anything, "So Keira broke up with her, she doesn't blame you for that! Just like Paizley doesn't blame y-"

"Paizley!" Al suddenly gasped, one hand flying to his mouth, "Oh, my Z, how did I even forget about Paizley? I've pretty much ruined her life. She was fine up until that flashback-"

"You didn't send the patrol into her house."

"It's still my fault!"

Zephyr didn't know what else to say to him at this point.

"... We talked about this stuff. You talked to Paizley. We were gonna work it out. You called us survivors."

Al shrank back, "I'm sorry. I'm just sending us right back to square one and making things harder," he mumbled, "And I keep disappointing you."

"This isn't about me! You're the one having a hard time right now. Besides, you could never disappoint me."

"You sure?" Al asked doubtfully.

"Of course I'm sure," Zephyr assured him, and he meant it.

Al was silent for what felt like ages, "... But you still love him."

Zephyr, confused and hurt, narrowed his eyes, "I don't understand why you keep saying that."

It took a few seconds for Al to answer.

"You said you love me more now for what _he_ did."

"... Al..."

"_Look at everything I did, just for _you," Alonzo was almost expressionless as he echoed Zephyr's words from mere days ago, and there was something so unnerving about it.

"Al," Zephyr could hardly get the words out, "You know I didn't mean it that way."

"... I know. But that's the only way he's letting me see it..."

Zephyr just sat there, taking everything in. It was a lot to process, and it was a lot to find solutions to. He wasn't capable of helping him, not really. Not enough. Not to the extent that he felt he should.

"... Listen, there is... _way_ too much going on here for me to fix everything but for what it's worth, I love _you_. Like this, right now. _Not_ him. _Not_ the zombie."

The small smile that broke across Al's face only cracked Zephyr's heart a little more. He wanted to believe him, and part of him did, but the zombie was louder than logic. He was grateful for Zephyr's words, but that's all they were – nothing but words.

"He's part of me," he reminded him, "You can't love _me_ and not love him."

Zephyr couldn't help the small, barely-there smile that crept its way onto his face. He reached out to touch Alonzo's arm, "... OK," he admitted, "There's one thing I love about him, and that's the fact that he saved my life. But it works both ways, you know, I can't love him and not you."

"... I _am_ the zombie, though. We're _zombies_, Zephyr. We're supposed to live off brains. We're just... going against nature using Z-bands and trying to act like humans when we're _not_."

"We still have some human in us. We're _mutated_ humans. We came from humans. And we have just as much right to be here as they do. The Z-bands give us back what the mutation takes away."

"I don't..." Al looked back at him with teary eyes and shook his head, "I _can't_ believe that. He won't let me..."

He let his gaze fall to the floor again and for a while, both of them were silent.

"... Maybe you _should_ go to containment..." Zephyr mused and Alonzo nodded.

"Good to know we're on the same page."

"Not the prison," Zephyr stated and Al's head snapped up, "The hospital."

Al scoffed, "What good would that do?"

"If there's any chance that somebody there could help you, _at all_, it's worth taking."

"They don't want to help me, Zeph," he wasn't even going to consider it.

"We'll find someone who will. You're going to have to take it one step at a time. Containment is your best bet. They're trained to handle zombie stuff. If you want to stop the zombie from getting out, they'll want to help you do that."

"What if-"

"If they hurt you, or if they turn you down, then we find another way."

Al was about to respond when he picked up on the almost miniscule tremor in Zephyr's voice. He stopped and took a good, long look at his boyfriend's face; he was scared. Not only of what Al could be opening himself up to, but of something else, as well.

"... What's wrong?"

"What do you mean 'what's wrong'? Have you been _listening_?"

But Alonzo shook his head, keeping his eyes fixed on Zephyr, "I know you better than that."

Zephyr hesitated.

"... I don't..." he trailed off. Al watched him as he searched for the words to explain. Eventually, Zephyr looked down and spoke in a quiet, somehow apologetic voice, "I don't want us to be separated again..."

And suddenly things seemed to turn around; Alonzo was the one with the sympathetic smile while Zephyr was holding back tears.

"Zephyr, I'll be fine whether I'm in the hospital or the prison, you don't have to worry about m-"

But Zephyr shook his head, "It's not that. I mean, yeah, I am worried about you but... honestly, I'm being kinda selfish here."

Al paused, confused, "How are you being selfish?"

A few more seconds passed before he could answer.

"I have PTSD, too, remember. I have episodes and flashbacks and panic attacks and everything else that comes with it," he gulped and locked eyes with Alonzo. He hadn't planned on admitting to this, at least not yet. But he couldn't keep it in. His voice came out choked and thick, "I almost died that night. You're the only reason I'm still alive."

Al's grey skin flushed white as a memory of the zombie's voice echoed in his head.

"_What he's feeling right now? That's not love for you. That's a desire to be with somebody who can protect him."_

"... Zephyr..."

"I... I don't feel safe when you're not with me. You make me feel safe."

"... So..." he gulped, "... You're still with me... because I protected you...?"

"It's not like that!" Zephyr insisted and when Alonzo still looked sceptical, he took his hand and looked him right in the eye, "I'd love you anyway. I don't want the zombie. I don't want you to take off your Z-band. I don't want you to kill people for me. I just want you to stay with me. And I'm so scared that someone could take you away from me again. I couldn't handle it the _first_ time you were in containment...!"

"Then why would I go back?"

"Because you need to!" he was practically begging Al now, "You need help, and I can't give you the help you need. And your mom can't, either. I gotta accept that. We both do."

The look on his face made Al stop and rethink. The fear. The concern. The desperation. He meant every word; it took a lot to make Zephyr truly pour his heart out like this.

After a few seconds, he took a breath.

"OK. I'll go."

He'd said it. No taking it back now.

"... Really?" Zephyr asked, starting to sound hopeful, and Al nodded in response.

Zephyr carefully wrapped his arms around Alonzo and stroked his hair, rocking him back and forth. His lips just barely brushed his neck, right by his ear, and his eyes fell shut for a moment. He relaxed, nestling as close as physically possible.

"You want to call your mom and tell her?"

Al shook his head then dropped onto Zeph's shoulder, "No."

With a soft sigh, Zephyr gently pushed him back to look in his eyes, "She needs to know what's going on."

"I know, but... not right now. I just..." he let out a breath, "I just need you to hold me for a little while."

It wasn't like Zephyr would deny him that, but he still looked so pleading. A small, sad smile cracked across Zephyr's face and he pulled Alonzo to his chest, letting his chin rest on top of his head and soothingly scratching the back of his neck. He felt Al sigh gratefully against him and cuddle closer. Zephyr pressed a slow kiss to his hair.

"I'm gonna stay right here with you until she gets home," he promised, "And we're gonna tell her together. Things are gonna get better, for real this time. And it's OK if you relapse. It's OK if you need brain food. It's OK if the zombie talks to you again," he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through Al's hair, giving them both some much-needed comfort, "And it's OK if we can't be together all the time 'cause you're going to find some _help_."

And maybe then they could both finally heal.


End file.
